Looking back, I wish someone had shared this perspective with me much earlier in life.

When I was younger, I placed significant expectations on myself—largely influenced by the professional success I saw my father achieve. In many ways, I also felt an internal pressure to prove myself to him. While those expectations were technically my own, they were shaped by what I believed I needed to accomplish in order to earn his approval and love.

In the 1970s, my father was a consultant and became the youngest associate to make partner at Touche Ross. For those unfamiliar with the firm, Touche Ross was an international accounting and consulting organization founded in 1899 that eventually became what we now know as Deloitte.

From an early age, I witnessed the professional success my father achieved in business. At the same time, I also saw the personal challenges that accompanied it. I vividly remember waking up one morning to find that he was gone—never again to live with our family. That experience left a lasting impression. In many ways, that sense of abandonment fueled my determination to demonstrate that I mattered and that I could achieve success.

There is a line from Richard Gere’s character in Pretty Woman that has always resonated with me: “I’ve spent ten thousand dollars and two years in therapy to be able to say to my father… ‘I’m very angry with you.’”

Like many people, I spent years working through my own understanding of that relationship and eventually accepting a difficult truth: my father would never become the person I hoped he would be. More importantly, none of my achievements would change that reality.

If I could go back and offer advice to my 20-, 30-, or even 40-year-old self, it would be this: define success on your own terms. Do the work that matters to you. Pursue what brings you fulfillment. Ultimately, success exists in the eyes of the individual, and the expectations that truly matter are the ones you set for yourself.

In a time marked by geopolitical uncertainty, rapid technological change driven by AI, and an evolving job market, that perspective feels more relevant than ever. It is important to continue investing in your growth—developing your skills, expanding your capabilities, and adapting to change. But it is equally important to do so at a pace that aligns with your own priorities, goals, and well-being.

Ask yourself, what are your expectations of yourself?