At some point in every career, a fundamental question emerges — often during times of pressure or transition, though not exclusively: Are you living to work, or working to live? That has been a question that I have been asked, and have asked others.

I did not have a good relationship with my father and actually it was a non-existent relationship for large amounts of time. So in many ways, I sought mentorship and guidance from senior business leaders whom I deeply respected. Several became important role models in my professional development as I moved through Intel, Hewlett Packard, and Gartner.

I can remember a work conversation, years ago, in Palo Alto, building 20, c-level, when one of those leaders looked me directly in the eye and said, “Scott, you need to figure out whether you’re living to work or working to live.”

At the time, I realized I had heard variations of that message before. Colleagues had cautioned me about how easily work can consume you — and how no one will set boundaries on your behalf. The company will take advantage of you if you let them. Yet I hadn’t fully absorbed it. I grew up believing that long hours and relentless commitment were the admission to success. I had watched my father become one of the youngest partners at his consulting firm, and I internalized the lesson that achievement required total immersion.

But that particular conversation in Palo Alto stayed with me. Honestly, when I first heard the question I had to think. What did he just say? Did I hear that correctly? I thought we all lived to work, wasn’t that what we were supposed to do? I was confused and perplexed, and while I can remember the setting and the question. I am not really sure what my answer was at the time, I suspect I didn’t have one.

Over time that question, and other events in life, prompted a shift in perspective. I began to understand that the emails would still be there tomorrow. The challenges of today would not disappear overnight. More importantly, sustained performance requires intentional recovery and rest — not just weekends away, but daily space to recharge, reflect, invest in personal growth, and be fully present with family and friends outside of work. All of which allows you to be fully present at work and perform at high levels.

Over time I made deliberate changes. I committed to leaving the office at a reasonable hour and protecting my weekends. I got back into cycling and running. Initially, it was uncomfortable. Over time, it became disciplined — and ultimately, liberating. Today, I rarely work weekends and avoid weekend travel unless absolutely necessary.

The question remains a powerful one — and worth revisiting throughout your career:

Are you living to work, or working to live?